Second City Network

Myth Information: The Superbowl Edition

01-28-2013 SB Musial

It’s that time of year again, when folks gather on a Sunday to worship something that actually exists, the NFL. So let’s dispel some Superbowl myths before you pre-order a taxi for your wife so you don’t have to drive her to the ER after your team loses.

The Superbowl: Fact vs. Fiction

Beyonce will be reuniting with Destiny’s Child for the Halftime Show: Fact. I hope you’re ready for this jelly, because after years of performing solo, Beyonce will be joined by Kelly & Michelle during this year’s Halftime show. Not only that, past Destiny’s Child members LaTavia Roberson, LeToya Luckett and Farrah Franklin will be there too, working as a beer vendor, Security guard and as the mascot for the Baltimore Ravens, respectively.

San Francisco 49ers cornerback Chris Culliver doesn’t want any gay teammates in the lockerroom: Fact. Even though he has since apologized for his, “very ugly comments.” The fact remains that Culliver wouldn’t feel comfortable having a gay man play for the 49ers out of the fear that the desire to suck that dude’s cock would be too distracting before the ‘Big Game!”.

Ray Lewis of the Baltimore Ravens is not allowed to say the signature phrase, “I’m going to Disney World!”: Fiction. Contrary to his last Superbowl Appearance, if Ray Lewis were to be named MVP a second time, DIsney has given the green light for him to say the now famous line, solely due to the fact that he has pinky sworn to not stab any other guests.