Second City Network

When will the Oscars be GAY again??


Watching this year’s Academy Awards ceremony was one long headshake for this reviewer.  I thought we were living in  “progressive” times, but how gravely mistaken I was upon watching this year’s straight-emony!

Gone are the days of a truly gay Oscar telecast, where the stars could really be themselves, and weren’t afraid to wear their homosexuality on their sleeves.  I’m talking about they heyday of the Academy Awards, when gay hosts were allowed to flaunt their flamboyance like a designer suit.  An openly gay host like Bob Hope could kiss his partner on stage and no one batted an eye!  Ha – not so these days!  Do not expect to see an Oscar host anytime soon, like noted homosexual man and gay rights activist Frank Sinatra, introducing the Best Picture nominees in light-up roller blades and chaps.  I guess audiences simply can’t handle that anymore.  Well, let he who is without sin cast the first stone…wall!

Watching last night’s broadcast saddened me to no end.  Watching straight performer after straight performer push their agenda was almost too much to bear.  Uber-straight host Seth MacFarlane played the “macho” card all evening, while vocal homophobes Barbara Streisand and Anne Hathaway paraded their hetero-normative behavior like only Alabama and Mississippi were watching!  No longer do we get to see gay film stars unabashedly proud of their sexuality, and using the Oscars as a platform to champion it.  People like the openly flaming Jack Lemmon, the heavily lisping Bing Crosby, and cock ring-adorning Charlton Heston are all but gone from the proceedings.  And don’t think you’ll see a public lesbian lip locking, like the infamous one between Helen Hayes and Butterfly McQueen, again anytime soon.

So we watch, disappointed yet again, that visibility is down once more for the most hidden of minorities in this country.  In conclusion, all this reviewer can say after watching the tribute to movie musicals from the last decade, the Iran of Argo is starting to look pretty good to me.