Second City Network

Browsing the "Words" Category

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The Secret History of Baseball: Closers

The Secret History of Baseball: Closers Today’s definition of a quality start is a pitcher going six innings or more, giving up no more than three earned runs. This is a “quality” start in the same way there’s a “Quality” [more]

May 23, 2013 By: TJ Jagodowski, Comedy, Words
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A Working Girl’s Letter to LinkedIn

Dear LinkedIn Corporation, I am writing to you today to inform you of how outraged I am regarding your recent decision to alter the language of your user agreement, thus expressly prohibiting users from promoting escort services and prostitution on [more]

May 23, 2013 By: Kristina Felske, Comedy, Words
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Cristiano Ronaldo’s Secret Thoughts Revealed!

Dear Diary to Myselfs, I am having so many of the mixed feelings. I do watching of the game where it is David Beckham’s last to play. I see him leave the field, and the peoples are to cheer.  He [more]

May 22, 2013 By: Nikki Pierce, Comedy, Words
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Why I Miss the Old Angie & Brad

  Lots of times, actors call acting “brave.” That is so insulting to firefighters and lobstermen. Angelina Jolie’s truly brave choice and her longtime love Brad Pitt’s boundless support is no joke. And yet… truth? I really, really miss the [more]

May 21, 2013 By: Liz Kozak, Comedy, Words
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John Lutz’s 10 Things to Know About Life After The Second City

Ten years ago, I wrote a list entitled 15 Things You Should Know About Touring. Apparently, Second City still hands it out when new touring members are hired. This list is for when you are fired. Or more likely, when you [more]

May 17, 2013 By: John Lutz, Comedy, Words
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A Case Against Marriage Equality By a Single Gay Man

Same-sex marriage isn’t necessarily a new concept, but for the religious right, social conservatives and comfortably single gays, it’s becoming a harsh reality. Let’s face it, gay marriage is trending. State legislatures are treating it like their own personal Harlem [more]

May 16, 2013 By: Tim Paul, Comedy, Words
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The Jilted Lover’s Guide to Summer Vacation

Hello there, Savvy Travelers! It’s me, Ben Whitaker, The Second City Network’s Savvy Travel Guide. Wouldn’t you know it? Summer is comin’ round the bend! If you’ve been squirreling away your pennies like I advised you to back in my [more]

May 15, 2013 By: Kevin Sciretta, Comedy, Words
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9 Things That Lasted a Shorter Amount of Time Yet Are Far More Interesting and Important Than Randy Jackson’s 12 Years on American Idol

Randy Jackson recently announced his retirement from American Idol after twelve rather unmemorable seasons. Here are 9 things more interesting and important than his entire TV tenure. 9. The Black Plague Pandemic Although the Plague technically originated in the late [more]

May 14, 2013 By: Kristina Felske, Comedy, Words
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How to Celebrate National Masturbation Month

  It’s time to celebrate the sunshine and warmer weather by staying inside and playing with yourself. May is National Masturbation Month, so here are some creative ways to get festive and throw a party for one! Put Some Fruit [more]

May 10, 2013 By: Tim Paul, Comedy, Words
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A Grown-Ass Man’s Prayer for the Chicago Bulls

Dear Jesus, It’s Mark. Again. As you know, things have been rough. Christy’s gone, and my so-called best friend Ryan is still so far up her ass that I wonder if Southwest Airlines lets them share a seat. My four-year-old [more]

May 9, 2013 By: Edgar Blackmon, Comedy, Words